``.*___Close your eyes...

Thursday, October 19, 2006

" I don't believe my eyes." Is the words uttered in my mind immediately after the surgery. Although there 's haze-like cloud that still block on vision with the ultraman brand eye shield . That's the first time I saw noordianah face clearly without aided equipment.

Since the hazy been cleared (I am referring to my eyes) this morning I went for the follow up just now

"There's 6/6 vision "

The feeling of never to use an aided glasses on my face after I wake up in the morning surpasses the wonderful feeling of falling in love.

When is the last time you fall in love with somebody? Yes, that is the feeling , almost...if not better...

One more time , i got an unaided vision 6/6 like i am in my kids' day.

I am reborn. That wat my colleague who had undergone lasik 2 years back told me.

The days of fumbling for my glasses early in the morning , the tiling of the glasses on my sweaty nose, the blurr of the glass after an air-con bus, the nerd I had been called, the poking of the offensive contact lenses on my dry eyes made u go screaming "shit , my eyes is burning ..PAIN "

The number 1 reason is the detortion of the eye surrounding area-the eyelid and brow area. Have you even ask those highly intelligent looking fellows (aka nerd) that have high myopia like 1000++ to take off their spec? Yes, they squarm at you . They squarm soo much that they have a droopy froopy eyes. What about that yearly check-up that deem you have always fatter myopia ,thinner wallet? Try taking of your contact lense after a long day-forget about taking off the lenses without snipping off your beautiful long nail. The long nail will dig into your eyeball while your lens is still happily sitting comfortable in the dirty cornea!

It is not about to improve looks because I look good with or without spec.
it is about going into a plane for a deadly dry recycled air for over 10 hours that will put me in risk of exotic eye diseases.

The fav question asked is " Pain ma?"

Yes yes ...pain in the heart when you shove thousands of bucks to em man ... I am not Filthy rich as you may imagine. Every year you change spec -if u choose frameless spec = 150 /pair . In the next 20 years , let's say 45 years old is $3000.
If you like to wear contact lens , it cost $2000 more. thst's approximation

I will learn to take care of my eyes fro now onwards.

Thanks God.

Anonymous scribbled this at 2:34 AM...

Monday, October 16, 2006

I am feeling really bad, pauline , I had break promise to be with my mum. My mum come first b4 almost anything..I will accompany her to temple as she insist that I come along. When mum pleaded*** , everything comes apart.

>

hmmm....walking along the path that we had a long time never been doing, makes me think of of the nostagically young. My mum used to hold my little hand and bring me to temple.It may be under the hot burning sun , she will hold me tight and the umbrella always never cover her. First , she will pray for me , for my dad, my family , for safety and harmonical of our family and then ........4D $$$ TOTO $$$. SHe never pray for herself ....

Sometimes , I wonder what I can do for her and also my dad. We can do so much for our career, our friends, colleagues , our boyfriends(oh yeah.), our pet , but just never think much for them.

if grows up means we have to grow apart with them , i will wish that I will never do. For some reasons, i left the 4S (yeah , the sun, sand ,sea, scenenary) because of em too. On the phone , my mum told me that dad said house had become quiet without me. My dad told me that my mum really missed me everyday.They are never this open towards talking about feeling before. That's enough reason to dump anything..

How our parents bring us up ;painfully, we can never make up to them in this life.

***u see, i am the potential money tree for her, when I leave singapore to middle east, she thought that flying is my part time job , digging gold under ground is my full time job. Hence, it's important that she pray for my safety. Remember that this world is a practical world muahahahahaha!!!!!!

If u think i am serious, u are wrong , i am thinking of the photos on the blog :)pauline have posted.. darn outrageous funny. Look at our s*****d face... Don; please dun care about I and liping , we used to do goofy things to each other, it is normal.
Just remember to visit me in room 431 often. Liping stays the room beside me , room 430, she often makes a lot of noise coz she often bang her head on the cushion wall.

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Let's whisper....

Into Your hands I commit again, with all I am for you Lord. You hold my world in the palm of Your hands and I am yours forever.

Jesus I believe in you. Jesus, I belong to You. You're the reason that I live, the reason that I sing, with all I am...

I walk with you, wherever you go, through tears and joy, Ill trust in you. I will be in all of Your ways, Your promises forever...

I will worship, I will worship You...

Anonymous scribbled this at 6:49 AM...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

One of the night , they got this tune blasted out from radio in my sony ericsson portable megabass speaker. I keep humming the tune "Close your eyes I want to ride the skies in my sweet dreams...."

and finally upload this music to my phone .

I still think retro songs are the best ...and sweet dreams

Artist: Air Supply Lyrics
Song: Sweet Dreams Lyrics

This is the time when you need a friend
You just need someone near
I'm not looking forward to the night I'll spend
Thinking of you when you're not here

How many times will I think about the things
I'd like to do
Always denied the right to live my life
The way I want
I want to share it with you

Close your eyes I want to ride the skies
In my sweet dreams
Close your eyes I want to see you tonight
In my sweet dreams

I think of your kiss as the days roll by
And I'll write the words you love
And what I can't say in a letter
Will just have to wait till I get home

There's not much time to tell you
Half the things that I should
Only that I'm so glad I fell in love with you
And I'd do it again, if I could

Sleep like a child resting deep
You don't know what you give me I keep
For these moments alone

In the another night, i got a sleepless night coz this song blast out from the radio that get me hum " Hold onto the night , Hold onto the memories.....". Hence , my night is too heavy to hold on .....i doze off.
If you like "Right here waiting " by Richard MArx, you will surely like this "Hold on to the night"

Artist: Richard Marx Lyrics
Song: Hold On To The Night Lyrics

Just when I believed I couldn't ever want for more
This ever changing world pushes me through another door
I saw you smile and my mind could not erase the beauty of your face
Just for a while won't you let me shelter you

Hold onto the night
Hold onto the memories
I wish that I could give you something more
and I could be yours

How do we explain something took us by suprise
Promises invade love that is real but in disguise
What happens now do we break another rule
and let our lovers play the fool
I don't know how to stop feeling this way...

Hold onto the night
Hold onto the memories
If only I could give you something more
Well, I think that I've been true to everybody else but me
and the way I feel about you makes my heart long to be free
Everytime I look into your eyes I'm helplessly aware
That the someone ive been searching for is right there...

Hold onto the night
Hold onto the memories
I wish that I could give you more
whoa...
Hold onto the night

Anonymous scribbled this at 6:02 AM...

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Will go under knife on my eyes in 5 days more.

The lasik ....

I Can't describe this feeling but I can tell you is that ...it is the feeling of unknown . Will I be one in the Million
Suddenly it is not the money u worry about ...it is the eyes ....

Eyes , visual ...to me is everything .

I guess the moment I lay down on the icy- cold hard operation table, nothing is more important than my eyes. The eyes to see wonderful things.

The eyes to see your beloved ones. I will do anything to see my beloved ones-even if give my life.

Remembered the korea drama "Stairway to Heaven" , the female lead lost it's sight and before that she practise touching the face of her beloved, trying to rem how he look like even she close her eyes. She practised many times but still forget how he look like. Whenever she forget, she lost her sane...

That's the best korea drama that I have seen ... i mean one of the best.

God , please bless me that I will be alright. I will be safe in your hands. Your hands that have touched many human faces of sickness and heal them alright. You just asked for one thing - Is to have belief with you ..

As you heal my eyes, I will use my eyes to see suffering, I will use it as an opportunity to serve God by helping others, to trust Him in spite of the difficulty, and to grow in our faith in Him.

As you heal my eyes, I will use my eyes to see the beautiful, I will see the goodness of the people , that 's because I see these people cry in front of you for your graciousness is the Lord the highest! They are beautiful as they will praise you and follow your words and spread your good news to people.

May I will see you in pain or in happiness...Amen.

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I gonna serve God's words in the end of the year as I know I will going to a place where God believe that I will help start contribute to more people. Serving the people.. Expose me to more people , seeing black and white. I know God wants me to learn something again from this journey. I hope after during this journey , i will be a more growth of a person with a firm ground and character compare to few years ago.

I pray and hope the best ...it will go smoothly.

I will never despair in something that God will not wants me to do. I will rejoyce if God be taking me the place that Him knows that I can help the most. I will surely help.

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Thanks pauline and liping for that crazy sat night and afternoon.
Pauline is a good photographer , she took my most beautiful pics and my friend and from what pauline see from a picture and it's angle , i can see the loveliness things in the world. Jia u o! Pauline ! continue to take more pics and show to me !!!
Have passion in a thing will lead to success in one another ... i can see a future successful photographer....btw , gimme your autography lst ...have to sell to ebay in near future!..

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now 12:30 am ...

Kena stressed by the jap lesson (yeh gonna finish the class niao)just now .. I am sleepless now

Cnnot must slp
Have to slp ..

Oyasuminasai.....

Anonymous scribbled this at 8:57 AM...